He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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