Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
