also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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