I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
