i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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