She's JV to your varsity
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
