Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
