it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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