just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize