I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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