idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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