She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
