are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
