honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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