He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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