i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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