We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
