I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
