Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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