I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
