Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
