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He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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