So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
