K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize