He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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