So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I will pee on everything he values.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
