if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
