After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
