someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
