u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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