3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
