wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
