i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
