I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
