I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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