found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
