Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
