Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
