Kiss
Puke
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it's not cheating when I paid for it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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