mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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