He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
