I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
