yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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