Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
