Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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