so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
What drink are we having for lunch?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
