I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
