when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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