you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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