I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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