Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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