he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
