what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
