I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
