Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
