Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
