apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
