Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I need to calm my uterus...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize