um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
