i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
