Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
