Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
