At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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